Thoughts and Train Rides

A pretty summer sunset (not today)

Hey guys, happy Friday! Hope you’re having a great week. I thought I’d just do a little post to check in with you and share some thoughts that I’ve been having.

Today’s grey sky got me thinking about how different everything is for me this year and how grateful I am to be feeling so well and healthy again. The reason the grey, dull skies brought up these thoughts and feelings was because not long ago, I felt really weak, unhealthy and like a ‘dulled’ version of myself.

Basically, I had lost my light in every sense of the word. At my lowest point, I was unable to leave my house due to how extreme the drug induced anxiety had become (please see my previous posts titled Accutane- The Life Changer PART I and II which explains more.) Mentally and physically, I felt like I was broken beyond repair. My body was hurting and I had symptom after symptom. Doctors didn’t know what to do with me. My mum was being strong, loving and supportive as usual but I’m sure she felt like she had lost her daughter. I was so fatigued and unwell that I was sleeping hours on end most days for weeks. At the worst point, I didn’t want to be here anymore.

There were two things I knew:

1. Accutane caused this and

2. I wasn’t going to take more medication and suppress the symptoms.

The irony in my story is that before deciding to take prescription medication for acne, I had always been the girl that goes for the natural, drug free approach where possible. I’ve been interested in how certain foods and natural remedies can heal the body long before taking Accutane. I rarely took paracetamol let alone anything else. Of course, everything has its place and modern medicine is incredible but where possible I try to opt for the drug free, whole body approach to health.

This situation that I found myself in forced me into a corner and I knew then that I owed it to myself to keep going. I started to listen to my intuition and knew that I needed to help my body to heal. Researching online for hours a day, I made lists of anything that stood out/ resonated with me. The first main one being liver cleansing (I have written a previous post titled Liver Flushing- My Experience if you’d like to read more.) I basically started cleansing my body physically and changing my diet in order to help my body repair and heal.

It took time, patience and perseverance. I’d get a little better, then feel ill again. This is what is known as a detox or Herxheimer reaction. As the body cleanses, large quantities of toxins can be released from cells and this can cause an immune reaction leading to a temporary increase in symptoms/ severity of the symptoms as the organs of elimination such as the colon and skin become overwhelmed. So you can feel temporarily worse before getting better and stronger each time.

So, it’s been a five year process and it has been far from easy but I’m finally feeling better. Even this time last year, I wasn’t fully well. I’ll be writing about everything in more detail as I split information between blog posts on this site. For today, I just wanted to say that even though the sky is grey and it’s one of those dull days, I feel so lit up. I feel happy, excited and grateful to be well and have energy to follow my dreams. This whole experience has changed my life but I believe that it all happened for a reason. Now, I’m studying Naturopathic Nutrition and I’m sure that I want to spend the rest of my life helping people. I’m filled with energy, ambition and have big plans.

If you’re struggling in some way right now and you’re reading this, please remember the following:

You are valuable and you DO matter. Everyone is different and everyone has a unique gift to share in this world. My personal struggles have shaped me and I want to use my personal experience to create good and help others. I know life can be hard sometimes, trust me I really do but you are stronger than you think.

I’m currently on the train (eating some delicious dark chocolate marzipan) as I have lectures in Bristol this weekend. Will be posting again early next week so hope you’ll back then 🙂

Wishing you a wonderful weekend,


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