On returning to England, after an extremely stressful journey I just broke down in tears at how awful I felt and how relieved I was to be home. In regards to the hair loss, I had developed sores all over my scalp. The dermatologist took a scalp biopsy and told me that I had a fungal infection so he prescribed anti fungal medication. He defended Accutane, insisting the two were not linked. I know now, they most certainly were. On top of major hair loss (I had now lost about 60%), I had sore, dry eyes with blurred vision at times and I had developed facial flushing. This facial flushing looked like rosacea and seemed to get worse after eating. It seemed like I was reacting to most foods that I ate. My face would become really hot, flushed and irritated. I had also started to wake during the night, sweating and my temperature never seemed to be correct. I either felt too hot or too cold. My extremities were always cold and I remember feeling the need to wear so many layers but then suddenly feeling flushed.
After getting a full blood panel done with my GP. The results showed that I had hypothyroidism and an increased rheumatoid factor. My mood was really low and after completing a depression form. My GP suggested thyroid medication (Thyroxine), antidepressants and told me I had rosacea. Apparently there’s no cure for rosacea so I was given some web addressed to find out more. I left her office feeling completely hopeless and alone. I know the GP was doing her job but more medication did not feel like the right move.
So here I was experiencing a whole heap of problems. I felt the most unwell I had ever felt. I spent nearly all day in bed sleeping as I was so fatigued. Every time I woke up it felt as though I was living in a nightmare. My body felt like it was falling apart and my mood matched it. Even though I didn’t know how, I knew that there had to be a way to recover. I wanted to give up as it felt like I had already lost but a part of me deep down knew I had to keep going. I began to do my own research online, spending hours and hours sifting through Acctutane forums and natural, holistic health sites. Most of my symptoms were autoimmune symptoms and I thought a lot of them correlated with an autoimmune condition such as Lupus. Feeling desperate to find a lead, I booked an appointment with a top Consultant Rheumatologist at the London Bridge Hospital. Specialist blood tests and exams were carried out. My blood test markers were abnormal but borderline for making a Lupus diagnosis. The Schirmer’s test was carried out. This is where a paper strip is inserted in your lower eyelid to check for the production of tears. After five minutes, my eyes hadn’t produced any tears. The paper was bone dry and became stuck to my eyeball making painful to remove. My abdomen was swollen and sore around this time too and it puzzled the doctor after examination. All in all, my results were not normal but not cumulative to a Lupus diagnosis either.
Months passed, it was all a bit of a blur and an extremely difficult period of time. My health was still really poor. I wanted to deal with my depression and anxiety and by this point, was also having suicidal thoughts so the situation had become even more serious. I decided to try Neurotherapy which is where you get hooked up to a computer via sensors and repattern your brainwaves over the course of a few weeks using various computer exercises. I thought it was worth a try and at least it didn’t involve taking more medication. On 7th January 2013 I travelled to London for my appointment. My anxiety was at an all time high. I actually had a major panic attack in public at the train station before leaving and the journey felt almost unbearable. To cut a long story short, I felt like the ‘consultation/ treatment’ was rubbish. It didn’t feel right and just felt like a quick ‘money maker.’ I travelled up and back in the one day and was exhausted and stressed all day. The tube commute was particularly hard as I was desperately trying to keep my anxiety under control. Well at least Neurotherapy was now crossed off the list.
Even though medical doctors would probably dispute this. I firmly believe there were drug residues in my body tissues and I needed to physically cleanse on a deeper level in order to remove them and let my body repair. On a physical level I was still losing hair, feeling fatigued, having trouble with temperature regulation, suffering from dry eyes with blurred vision at times and I was reacting to foods. Nearly every time I ate, I would come flush and come up in a skin rash. I was also very bloated and uncomfortable a lot of the time.
I was aware that gut health is of huge importance so I began to research more in this area. I felt like the medication had damaged the lining of my intestines and I had developed ‘leaky gut’ which is why I was reacting to all these foods. Leaky gut is where the lining of your intestines becomes damaged and permeable. This means that undigested food particles, microbes and toxins that are meant to remain in the gut can pass through the gut wall into your bloodstream. The body will treat them as foreign invaders and ‘attack’ them, creating an immune response. Looking at my diet in closer detail, I removed gluten, dairy and refined sugar and avoided caffeine and alcohol. I began making milk kefir and fermented vegetables (which I’ll speak about in future posts.) These daily additions calmed my skin down quite a bit and made my digestion a bit better. Even though these dietary steps were helping, my skin was still reactive and flushing/ coming out in a rash and I still wasn’t well.
One night, whilst up late on my computer researching like usual. I came across an Ayurvedic practitioner called Andreas Moritz. He was speaking about a cleansing process called ‘Liver Flushing.’ This information really resonated with me and I ordered his book on Amazon titled ‘The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flush.’ There is also a free PDF version available online. My intuition told me to go ahead with this so that’s exactly what I did.
I’m going to speak to you in detail about my Liver Flushing experience my next blog post as this post is already long and detailed. It’s nearly 11pm and I’m so tired!
Much love until next time,